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BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy. GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?? GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever. BOY : Don't you ever want to improve?? SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?? TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. WOMAN : You remind me of the sea. MAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting? WOMAN : NO, because you make me sick. WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in! one ear and comes out of the other. HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter? PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly. Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?" Pupil : "The moon". Teacher : "Why?" Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it". Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?" Pupil : "A teacher". Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?" Customer : "What other colors do you have?" My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs. Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !" Sam : "It's a family tradition". Teacher : "What do you mean?" Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher : "What about your mother?" Sam : "She's a woman". Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him,what virtue would I be showing?" Student : "Brotherly love". Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook". Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?" Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died". Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time." Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?" Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."
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